The staff at my NGO use an interesting technique to gather financial donations.
We were having our weekly meeting last week and one of the staff brought up a new program idea he had for Christmas baskets for those living with HIV/AIDS. It is a great idea: the basket contains the basic health necessities (soap, bed net, condoms, latex gloves, water purifier, etc.) and a food supplement that should last between two weeks to a month. The goal is to distribute ten baskets at $24USD per basket. Everyone agreed that it was an excellent idea and that my co-worker should go ahead with the plan. In Canada, this would be the point where the director asked his staff to begin soliciting donations or devise a fundraising scheme. Instead, my director turned to all of us. He basically went around the circle asking each person what they were going to ‘contribute’ and would stare until the person offered something. I found this whole exchange extremely uncomfortable. I am not sure if this is the Malawian way in general to raise money, or if this is the way it happens specifically in my organization, but I find it both uncomfortable and ineffective. Not only does it financially tax people who might not be in a position to contribute, but it is also SO AWKWARD. I find it much more sensitive and discreet to present the idea and then ask people to approach you privately to commit donations. This is not the first time this has happened. It seems to be a pattern where when CAYO needs to raise small funds, we all sit uncomfortably until one of the staff agrees to give some money. I always find it uncomfortable, which is compounded by the feeling I get that my co-workers are waiting for me to offer up the money. There have already been numerous comments to the effect that they are hoping that I will convey to my friends and family the needs of the community here. I understand that to most Malawians I represent endless wealth, and compared to most of their incomes, my intern’s stipend far surpasses theirs. I try to contribute to the economy and NGOs in any way that I can. I do however, resent being bullied into donating money that I do not necessarily feel confident in giving. Every time you give money to an NGO, you have to ask where that money is going and how it is being used; it is unfortunately the reality around here (and elsewhere in the world). I bought a basket. I am glad that it will help the person who receives. But there has to be a less awkward and more reputable way of donating – which does not involve passive aggressive bullying!
Sunday, December 16, 2007
The Most Productive Day Ever!
Last week did not begin well. The past few weeks have been very overwhelming, both emotionally and mentally. Work has also been moving slowly and it has been frustrating trying to stay positive in the face of many challenges.
But on Wednesday I had a breakthrough!!! The community audit officially began.
On Wednesday I trained two of my colleagues to be research assistants for the audit. We did a short training covering interviewing and data recording techniques, as well as a basic introduction to gender-based violence and active listening. I decided to approach this audit with two goals: the first to obtain the most accurate information possible, and the second to do this in a way that is supportive to the participant. I could not imagine asking extremely personal questions without accounting for the emotional and mental ramifications of the exchange. My colleagues completely understood this, and quickly got on board with the concepts of ‘survivor’ instead of ‘victim,’ and non-directionality. One woman, Linly, is the librarian for CAYO and up to this week, I had not interacted with her that much. She is very quiet, and I stupidly took that to mean that she did not have a lot to say. She has been especially committed to the study and you can see her excitement when we discuss the ideas of gender-based violence. On Friday she went out in the pouring rain (voluntarily) to hunt down some teen mothers to interview. On Thursday the first interviews were conducted. I did one with a juvenile justice officer on his experiences with gender-based violence in the courts. He explained that women do come forward to report violence, but since the courts are so understaffed, the case often goes nowhere. And this then discourages other people from reporting. He also told me that the majority of cases are punished by a fine to the perpetrator, but again, due to staffing gaps, the fine is rarely enforced.
The second interview of the day was the first participant interview with a teen mother. Linly conducted it as well and it went so well. The on Friday, Linley did two more teen mother interviews (reaching our quota of three for that district). I also met with a group of commercial sex-workers and three agreed to do individual interviews starting on Monday. The women were fantastic – laughing and joking all the time. They were warm and only laughed at me a few times J
It feels incredible to see all of the planning and preparation of the past two a half months finally come into fruition. There is still a long way to go (69 more individual questionnaires to go), but it is at least a start. And now there is finally something to put in my mid-term report for CIDA this week!
But on Wednesday I had a breakthrough!!! The community audit officially began.
On Wednesday I trained two of my colleagues to be research assistants for the audit. We did a short training covering interviewing and data recording techniques, as well as a basic introduction to gender-based violence and active listening. I decided to approach this audit with two goals: the first to obtain the most accurate information possible, and the second to do this in a way that is supportive to the participant. I could not imagine asking extremely personal questions without accounting for the emotional and mental ramifications of the exchange. My colleagues completely understood this, and quickly got on board with the concepts of ‘survivor’ instead of ‘victim,’ and non-directionality. One woman, Linly, is the librarian for CAYO and up to this week, I had not interacted with her that much. She is very quiet, and I stupidly took that to mean that she did not have a lot to say. She has been especially committed to the study and you can see her excitement when we discuss the ideas of gender-based violence. On Friday she went out in the pouring rain (voluntarily) to hunt down some teen mothers to interview. On Thursday the first interviews were conducted. I did one with a juvenile justice officer on his experiences with gender-based violence in the courts. He explained that women do come forward to report violence, but since the courts are so understaffed, the case often goes nowhere. And this then discourages other people from reporting. He also told me that the majority of cases are punished by a fine to the perpetrator, but again, due to staffing gaps, the fine is rarely enforced.
The second interview of the day was the first participant interview with a teen mother. Linly conducted it as well and it went so well. The on Friday, Linley did two more teen mother interviews (reaching our quota of three for that district). I also met with a group of commercial sex-workers and three agreed to do individual interviews starting on Monday. The women were fantastic – laughing and joking all the time. They were warm and only laughed at me a few times J
It feels incredible to see all of the planning and preparation of the past two a half months finally come into fruition. There is still a long way to go (69 more individual questionnaires to go), but it is at least a start. And now there is finally something to put in my mid-term report for CIDA this week!
Clubbing The Malawian Way.
On Friday night my friend’s co-workers took us out. This is a fellow Canadian who I met during my pre-departure training in Canada. She works with a much larger NGO here in Lilongwe.
Her co-worker came to pick me up at home and we started at a British-style pub. We had some drinks and played a little pool. Most of the music was from the 80s and 90s, which thanks to my mother’s enjoyment of radio station CHFI 98.1, I knew most of the words to. We sat down at a table with two women, who began talking with my friend. After a while they asked her for her phone number. After giving it to them, my friend’s co-worker become concerned. He pulled us away from the table and explained that the women were sex-workers. “mahule” in Chichewa – meaning prostitute. Or “oyendayenda”, the more politically correct term, meaning ‘women who walk about in the dark’. For the rest of the night the co-worker kept repeating that we should not associate with women like that, and if we sit near them or talk to them, other men will think we are like them. The prejudice towards sex-workers was evident in the way the men spoke: the words they used and their tone.
After the pub – we moved on to a club called Chez N’Temba. It is a chain that is all over Africa. They had just re-opened their Lilongwe club after a renovation.
The ways in which Malawian clubs are the same as Canadian:
I recognized a lot of the music
girls dance with their friends in a circle
you can buy beer
there are lights and smoke
The ways in which Malawian clubs are different from those in Canada:
there is no ‘last call’
men are much more respectful and actually listen when you say you do not want to dance with them
there is a woman asleep in the bathroom who you have to wake up in order to get your ration of toilet paper
there is another woman who watches the stalls themselves and watched me pee (very awkward)
there is MEAT! yes, meat. Good barbequed meat to eat.
We were there until about 4am and had a great time. One person even told me that I dance like a Malawian: a huge compliment! Now if only I could do something about my skin colour……
Her co-worker came to pick me up at home and we started at a British-style pub. We had some drinks and played a little pool. Most of the music was from the 80s and 90s, which thanks to my mother’s enjoyment of radio station CHFI 98.1, I knew most of the words to. We sat down at a table with two women, who began talking with my friend. After a while they asked her for her phone number. After giving it to them, my friend’s co-worker become concerned. He pulled us away from the table and explained that the women were sex-workers. “mahule” in Chichewa – meaning prostitute. Or “oyendayenda”, the more politically correct term, meaning ‘women who walk about in the dark’. For the rest of the night the co-worker kept repeating that we should not associate with women like that, and if we sit near them or talk to them, other men will think we are like them. The prejudice towards sex-workers was evident in the way the men spoke: the words they used and their tone.
After the pub – we moved on to a club called Chez N’Temba. It is a chain that is all over Africa. They had just re-opened their Lilongwe club after a renovation.
The ways in which Malawian clubs are the same as Canadian:
I recognized a lot of the music
girls dance with their friends in a circle
you can buy beer
there are lights and smoke
The ways in which Malawian clubs are different from those in Canada:
there is no ‘last call’
men are much more respectful and actually listen when you say you do not want to dance with them
there is a woman asleep in the bathroom who you have to wake up in order to get your ration of toilet paper
there is another woman who watches the stalls themselves and watched me pee (very awkward)
there is MEAT! yes, meat. Good barbequed meat to eat.
We were there until about 4am and had a great time. One person even told me that I dance like a Malawian: a huge compliment! Now if only I could do something about my skin colour……
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Theatre For A Change.
I mentioned this amazing organization in my last post. Starting in Ghana, they developed a highly effective model for behaviour change that uses theatre and drama techniques to intervene in (mostly) youths’ lives. Today I went to special presentation for their new pilot project working with sex workers. This group of sex workers has been meeting for only two months, and using the same model of dramatics to tell the stories of their work and lives, have already made significant changes in their lives. They have come together so quickly to learn from each other and teach the community about the challenges that they face. The group has already noted the power that comes with organizing and working together and now plan to use their strength in numbers to advocate on behalf of sex workers throughout Malawi.
Today’s presentation was a series of sketches written by the group about situations that occur in their lives. It was performed for their friends, as well as for the chiefs of their communities. Unfortunately, the performance was in Chichewa, so I was unable to understand what they were saying. But it was quite entertaining even with the language barrier, and I was occupied trying to understand what they might be talking about based on their facial expressions and hand gestures. At the end of each sketch, the TFOC staff lead the whole audience in an interactive breakdown of the sketch. They discussed what had taken place, got feedback from the audience about what might have been done differently had the scenario been in real life, and then redid the scene where people from the audience were encouraged to come in and ‘tag’ one of the actors when they thought they knew what that character should do. It was fantastic. So concrete and useful. One of the scenes was about a husband who was HIV+ and having extra-marital relations. He would not discuss his status with his wife, and in the end, she contracted the virus, and then killed herself. Like I said – these scenes were written by the women and were very raw.
The audience was able to weigh in on how the wife might have better protected herself, and then was able to practice those strategies by acting them out. Having the opportunity to see the words and strategies used to negotiate for safe sex in a marriage and how to encourage communication with one’s husband is a very effective tool, as sadly, this is a situation that many women in Malawi face.
The group had wonderful energy, and in between each sketch the women would break into song and get up and dance. I did some dancing myself, and got my first lesson in the ‘kwassa kwassa’ – a Malawian dance where you shake and undulate your hips – fun and complicated all at the same time.
Towards the end of the event something very interesting happened. A group of men pulled up to the British Council (where the event was taking place) and all got out singing in a line and came to sit in the circle where the play was going on. I did not really understand what was happening as there was a lot of talking and ‘speech making’ about something. Then one of the TFOC staff suggested that everyone move outside. At that point, the men all got up, started singing again, and went outside. I asked the other white girl there what was happening (no one else really spoke English). She explained that one of the male trainees from the TFOC teacher training program had thought that it would be a great idea to round up twenty of his friends, get drunk, and then come over here. Sadly, there are idiots in every community. What was especially unfortunate about this situation was that in coming over to this group, thus guy not only lost his chances of being part of an amazing organization, but he also violated the trust and confidentiality of the sex worker group. The women will now no longer be able to use the British Council for their practice site, as the safe space they had created was destroyed. It was very unfortunate.
Luckily, the women were not discouraged and picked right up dancing where they left off.
Today’s presentation was a series of sketches written by the group about situations that occur in their lives. It was performed for their friends, as well as for the chiefs of their communities. Unfortunately, the performance was in Chichewa, so I was unable to understand what they were saying. But it was quite entertaining even with the language barrier, and I was occupied trying to understand what they might be talking about based on their facial expressions and hand gestures. At the end of each sketch, the TFOC staff lead the whole audience in an interactive breakdown of the sketch. They discussed what had taken place, got feedback from the audience about what might have been done differently had the scenario been in real life, and then redid the scene where people from the audience were encouraged to come in and ‘tag’ one of the actors when they thought they knew what that character should do. It was fantastic. So concrete and useful. One of the scenes was about a husband who was HIV+ and having extra-marital relations. He would not discuss his status with his wife, and in the end, she contracted the virus, and then killed herself. Like I said – these scenes were written by the women and were very raw.
The audience was able to weigh in on how the wife might have better protected herself, and then was able to practice those strategies by acting them out. Having the opportunity to see the words and strategies used to negotiate for safe sex in a marriage and how to encourage communication with one’s husband is a very effective tool, as sadly, this is a situation that many women in Malawi face.
The group had wonderful energy, and in between each sketch the women would break into song and get up and dance. I did some dancing myself, and got my first lesson in the ‘kwassa kwassa’ – a Malawian dance where you shake and undulate your hips – fun and complicated all at the same time.
Towards the end of the event something very interesting happened. A group of men pulled up to the British Council (where the event was taking place) and all got out singing in a line and came to sit in the circle where the play was going on. I did not really understand what was happening as there was a lot of talking and ‘speech making’ about something. Then one of the TFOC staff suggested that everyone move outside. At that point, the men all got up, started singing again, and went outside. I asked the other white girl there what was happening (no one else really spoke English). She explained that one of the male trainees from the TFOC teacher training program had thought that it would be a great idea to round up twenty of his friends, get drunk, and then come over here. Sadly, there are idiots in every community. What was especially unfortunate about this situation was that in coming over to this group, thus guy not only lost his chances of being part of an amazing organization, but he also violated the trust and confidentiality of the sex worker group. The women will now no longer be able to use the British Council for their practice site, as the safe space they had created was destroyed. It was very unfortunate.
Luckily, the women were not discouraged and picked right up dancing where they left off.
Chanukah In Malawi.
Happy Chanukah to all that it applies. I am convinced that I am the lone Jew in Malawi. Although a friend contests that there might be one or two others, though he does not know who they are. I came prepared and brought my own Chanukah candles with me. I have been crafty, and fashioned a channuakiah out of two bricks from the yard.
I have been domestic and made latkes and Chanukah cookies from scratch. I have been social and made a party on Saturday night where I got to showcase my religion for those interested.
Not too shabby.
However, it has brought two very significant issues to the fore.
The first is rather obvious: I have been wondering whether I would be able to make a place like Lilongwe my home, knowing that it has no Jewish community whatsoever. It is not a very serious problem right now as I am here for a short time, less than six months. I also planned this very strategically, leaving after the High Holy days and returning before Passover. Chanukah in the scheme of holidays is relatively minor and does not require a synagogue, other Jewish people, or really hard to find and expensive food. But if I were offered a job to stay here for another year, would I be able to knowing that I would be on my own for all things Jewish. It is lonely feeling unique (at least religiously) all the time. Most people (Malawian and not) have endless questions for me when they find out that I am Jewish. And it is amusing for me to try and explain both religious concepts as well as cultural/stereotypical ones such as summer camp, or “the JAP” (one of my favourites). But in the long run, I anticipate that the novelty would wear off, and then I would be left on my own.
This line of thinking then leads to the second issue: How important is my Judaism to my daily life? Important enough to turn down international opportunities in places where I cannot find a community of fellow Jews? I have noticed a pattern, that the periods where I am most identified with and connected to Judaism are when I am traveling. This makes sense; to cling to things that are both comfortable and make you unique when faced with constant change and difference. But if the times when I am most into Judaism are the ones when I am not with other Jews – does that automatically lead to returning home to be with other Jews….I am not sure.
All I know is that it is probably a good idea to sort all of this out before I rush off to some other foreign county where there will be no hope of finding any matzah. As it would get quite ridiculous to have to pack a year’s worth of Jewish paraphernalia very time I leave home.
I have been domestic and made latkes and Chanukah cookies from scratch. I have been social and made a party on Saturday night where I got to showcase my religion for those interested.
Not too shabby.
However, it has brought two very significant issues to the fore.
The first is rather obvious: I have been wondering whether I would be able to make a place like Lilongwe my home, knowing that it has no Jewish community whatsoever. It is not a very serious problem right now as I am here for a short time, less than six months. I also planned this very strategically, leaving after the High Holy days and returning before Passover. Chanukah in the scheme of holidays is relatively minor and does not require a synagogue, other Jewish people, or really hard to find and expensive food. But if I were offered a job to stay here for another year, would I be able to knowing that I would be on my own for all things Jewish. It is lonely feeling unique (at least religiously) all the time. Most people (Malawian and not) have endless questions for me when they find out that I am Jewish. And it is amusing for me to try and explain both religious concepts as well as cultural/stereotypical ones such as summer camp, or “the JAP” (one of my favourites). But in the long run, I anticipate that the novelty would wear off, and then I would be left on my own.
This line of thinking then leads to the second issue: How important is my Judaism to my daily life? Important enough to turn down international opportunities in places where I cannot find a community of fellow Jews? I have noticed a pattern, that the periods where I am most identified with and connected to Judaism are when I am traveling. This makes sense; to cling to things that are both comfortable and make you unique when faced with constant change and difference. But if the times when I am most into Judaism are the ones when I am not with other Jews – does that automatically lead to returning home to be with other Jews….I am not sure.
All I know is that it is probably a good idea to sort all of this out before I rush off to some other foreign county where there will be no hope of finding any matzah. As it would get quite ridiculous to have to pack a year’s worth of Jewish paraphernalia very time I leave home.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
The Rain Has Begun.
Today it rained, no - poured, for an hour straight. It was amazing.
The more I travel, the more my appreciation for the weather grows. Especially clouds. I don’t know what it is about clouds and the sky, but I always find them beautiful. It is harder to see in cities like Toronto and Montreal where there is a thick layer of smog. But in the North and now here, the sky is clear and bright, or overcast with incredible cloud formations. One of my favourite things to do in Iqaluit was to check out the clouds at sunset. Here is a bit trickier as the sun sets in about 30 minutes – so you have to be on your game to catch it. But is just beautiful if you do.
Today was a day full of ups and downs. It is surprising to think back on the day and realize the wide spectrum of emotions that I ran through in less than twelve hours. I will organize this post by emotion (trying to spice things up for you a bit!):
Stubbornness: I woke up this morning and simply decided that I was not going to work. There was nothing that could have made me go into work at 7am today. Not a thing. Luckily I had a meeting close to my house at 10am and was able to justify working from home before hand (something I do frequently now).
Calm: I have started drinking instant coffee – ‘ricoffy’. I am not exactly sure why as I have never been a big coffee drinker. It is now part of my morning routine and I am beginning to appreciate the importance of morning routines. My old routine at school was to drag myself out of bed in the pitch dark, make a bowl of cereal, get back into bed, eat, and then go back to sleep for a few more minutes. Here, I get up fairly easily to a combination of beautiful sun and the squawking of my fan (it makes a horrible noise that I cannot figure out how to get rid of). Make my fake coffee and oatmeal and then sit on the couch to relax for half an hour and read one of the many magazines that my roommate’s mom sends her from Canada (for anyone who wants an entertaining and informative read – check out “The Walrus” – I am in love!). It gives the morning a sense of calm I have never felt before in Canada.
Clarity: I had an extremely productive hour and a half of work before my meeting. I find it much easier to work from home where it is quiet and there is air quality control. I have been working on a training for the volunteers who will be acting as research assistants for my community audit. It has been slow going gathering the needed information, tailoring to this context, formatting, etc. This morning the final details came together and it is now in a neat and organized manual entitled “Research Assistant Training Manual for the Community Audit on Gender-Based Violence Amongst Vulnerable Youth Groups”. It is so satisfying when the final product fits into a nice package.
Excitement: My meeting this morning was with Theatre For A Change. Theatre for a Change takes a unique approach to behaviour change in developing countries. They use theatre and drama techniques to educate and empower groups in society for positive behaviour change. They started in Ghana and had incredible success. They are currently starting in Malawi as their hub for east Africa. They are partnering with the Ministry of Education to train teachers on the behaviour change model to then be incorporated into mainstream curriculum. Their programming focuses specifically on human rights and girls’ rights. They use drama games to teach girls how to use their words, say ‘no’, express their own needs. It has also been highly effective in getting youth to talk about controversial and difficult subjects like HIV/AIDS. I was meeting with them concerning their new project focusing specifically on commercial sex workers. They have had fantastic success with a small pilot group in Lilongwe that through the group work with Theatre for a Change has increased their use of the female condom, learned to more assertively negotiate for safer sex, and most importantly, become hopeful that change is possible in Malawi and that they can help influence the change in people’s attitudes and treatment of sex workers. Inspiring. I am hoping to incorporate whatever groups of sex workers I meet through the audit into Theatre’s program. Please check out their website, it is wonderful.
Overwhelming Frustration: My project is at a stand-still. It is almost exactly half-way through my placement and my midterm report is due in Canada in two weeks. Slight problem is that there is not a whole lot to report. I am still stuck at item one on my seven-item job description. I am not sure where things have gotten off track as there is a long list of challenges in getting this audit off the ground. Perhaps I have not been assertive enough in asking for the help that I need. But I was trying not to harass anyone….. I was supposed to start research assistant training two weeks ago, but then found out that the office is closing for a month (long story, largely due to there not being enough money to pay the staff to stay in the office – so the director is calling it a ‘long vacation’). Therefore, the staff that would be trained to conduct the interviews would not actually be available to do them. So next idea was to find volunteers to do them – but again, I am not in a position to find these volunteers and find myself relying on someone else’s motivation and schedule to find them. Language – still trying to get all of the questionnaires translated into Chichewa – but I feel badly asking my colleagues to do it as they are already over committed on their own projects.
The biggest frustration has been trying to understand how I am supposed to be finding the participants of the audit. I need to find 72 teen mothers, sex workers, disables youth, and female heads of house who are willing to do individual interviews, and then a whole slew of youth to participate in focus groups. I was so confused about how this was supposed to happen: there is a specific protocol for going through the chiefs of each village to get their permission for working there. In Canada, I would simply put up posters, talk to the sex worker collectives, go to youth health centres –etc. I understand how Canada works. I do not understand how Malawi does. All of this came tumbling out to my wonderful co-worker Trish in a fit of frustration and despair, which culminated in the announcement that I would most likely be fired as the least effective Canadian intern in Malawi ever! She was reassuring and most importantly, finally walked me through the steps of how this was actually going to work out. Good news, there is a process of sorts for this type of research audit. There are defined channels through which to access participants. Bad news, at every step, I am relying on someone else to complete their task before being able to move on to the next step, which means that I am at the mercy of other people’s schedules….patience is a virtue in Malawi. I am not very good at it.
Quiet: Back to the rain. I was sitting in the office. Hot as usual. When suddenly I heard pounding on the roof. The rain had begun. A few minutes later the power went out (surprise!). At that point, there was nothing to do but wait it out. The library at the front of the building was quiet as usual. I went and sat on the porch watching the rain. It was almost silent on the street (a very rare occurrence). It was nice and quiet.
Happiness: After the rain slowed I headed for home, hoping to make it in time for my Chichewa lesson. It had been a few days since I have walked through Kawale 2, the neighborhood where my office is. I started walking and was immediately faced with the mud and large puddles – to which my flip-flops were no match. The women standing outside the grain grinding house next to the office were having a great time watching me pick my way through the muck out to the road. Very funny. Every day there are situations where if one does not have a good sense of humour you are screwed! Sometimes there is no way to win as the newbie white girl hanging out in a traditional Malawian neighbourhood.
I hit the road and suddenly a woman was shouting and yelling at me from her house – I looked up just in time to avoid the fallen electricity cable – it was nice to have the warning J The walk was shaping up well, and then soared off the charts when half-way up the road a group of about ten kids suddenly swarmed me. All screaming and laughing. There were all a little damp from the rain, and were clearly having a great time playing outside. A few had very good English and we started chatting. Names exchanged, I asked how school was this morning, tried out a few Chichewa words. I told them I had to go wait for my bus (‘basi” in Chichewa) and the boldest held out his fist – to tap to mine. I of course obliged and then all of the kids had to get in on it. When that novelty wore off, the same boy asked me if he could give me a hug. It was the first time any child here has asked if they could hug me. It was wonderful. I knelt down and got a big squeeze from this boy, and then all of his friends starting giving me hugs, some two at a time. This went on for about five minutes, until my bus came. It was the best I have felt since coming here. I constantly feel so separate from the world that I am living in: due to social class, money, language, location, transport…all I want to do is connect with the people I see everyday. I am hoping that this a sign that things are turning. And the best part; none of the kids asked me for money even once.
The more I travel, the more my appreciation for the weather grows. Especially clouds. I don’t know what it is about clouds and the sky, but I always find them beautiful. It is harder to see in cities like Toronto and Montreal where there is a thick layer of smog. But in the North and now here, the sky is clear and bright, or overcast with incredible cloud formations. One of my favourite things to do in Iqaluit was to check out the clouds at sunset. Here is a bit trickier as the sun sets in about 30 minutes – so you have to be on your game to catch it. But is just beautiful if you do.
Today was a day full of ups and downs. It is surprising to think back on the day and realize the wide spectrum of emotions that I ran through in less than twelve hours. I will organize this post by emotion (trying to spice things up for you a bit!):
Stubbornness: I woke up this morning and simply decided that I was not going to work. There was nothing that could have made me go into work at 7am today. Not a thing. Luckily I had a meeting close to my house at 10am and was able to justify working from home before hand (something I do frequently now).
Calm: I have started drinking instant coffee – ‘ricoffy’. I am not exactly sure why as I have never been a big coffee drinker. It is now part of my morning routine and I am beginning to appreciate the importance of morning routines. My old routine at school was to drag myself out of bed in the pitch dark, make a bowl of cereal, get back into bed, eat, and then go back to sleep for a few more minutes. Here, I get up fairly easily to a combination of beautiful sun and the squawking of my fan (it makes a horrible noise that I cannot figure out how to get rid of). Make my fake coffee and oatmeal and then sit on the couch to relax for half an hour and read one of the many magazines that my roommate’s mom sends her from Canada (for anyone who wants an entertaining and informative read – check out “The Walrus” – I am in love!). It gives the morning a sense of calm I have never felt before in Canada.
Clarity: I had an extremely productive hour and a half of work before my meeting. I find it much easier to work from home where it is quiet and there is air quality control. I have been working on a training for the volunteers who will be acting as research assistants for my community audit. It has been slow going gathering the needed information, tailoring to this context, formatting, etc. This morning the final details came together and it is now in a neat and organized manual entitled “Research Assistant Training Manual for the Community Audit on Gender-Based Violence Amongst Vulnerable Youth Groups”. It is so satisfying when the final product fits into a nice package.
Excitement: My meeting this morning was with Theatre For A Change. Theatre for a Change takes a unique approach to behaviour change in developing countries. They use theatre and drama techniques to educate and empower groups in society for positive behaviour change. They started in Ghana and had incredible success. They are currently starting in Malawi as their hub for east Africa. They are partnering with the Ministry of Education to train teachers on the behaviour change model to then be incorporated into mainstream curriculum. Their programming focuses specifically on human rights and girls’ rights. They use drama games to teach girls how to use their words, say ‘no’, express their own needs. It has also been highly effective in getting youth to talk about controversial and difficult subjects like HIV/AIDS. I was meeting with them concerning their new project focusing specifically on commercial sex workers. They have had fantastic success with a small pilot group in Lilongwe that through the group work with Theatre for a Change has increased their use of the female condom, learned to more assertively negotiate for safer sex, and most importantly, become hopeful that change is possible in Malawi and that they can help influence the change in people’s attitudes and treatment of sex workers. Inspiring. I am hoping to incorporate whatever groups of sex workers I meet through the audit into Theatre’s program. Please check out their website, it is wonderful.
Overwhelming Frustration: My project is at a stand-still. It is almost exactly half-way through my placement and my midterm report is due in Canada in two weeks. Slight problem is that there is not a whole lot to report. I am still stuck at item one on my seven-item job description. I am not sure where things have gotten off track as there is a long list of challenges in getting this audit off the ground. Perhaps I have not been assertive enough in asking for the help that I need. But I was trying not to harass anyone….. I was supposed to start research assistant training two weeks ago, but then found out that the office is closing for a month (long story, largely due to there not being enough money to pay the staff to stay in the office – so the director is calling it a ‘long vacation’). Therefore, the staff that would be trained to conduct the interviews would not actually be available to do them. So next idea was to find volunteers to do them – but again, I am not in a position to find these volunteers and find myself relying on someone else’s motivation and schedule to find them. Language – still trying to get all of the questionnaires translated into Chichewa – but I feel badly asking my colleagues to do it as they are already over committed on their own projects.
The biggest frustration has been trying to understand how I am supposed to be finding the participants of the audit. I need to find 72 teen mothers, sex workers, disables youth, and female heads of house who are willing to do individual interviews, and then a whole slew of youth to participate in focus groups. I was so confused about how this was supposed to happen: there is a specific protocol for going through the chiefs of each village to get their permission for working there. In Canada, I would simply put up posters, talk to the sex worker collectives, go to youth health centres –etc. I understand how Canada works. I do not understand how Malawi does. All of this came tumbling out to my wonderful co-worker Trish in a fit of frustration and despair, which culminated in the announcement that I would most likely be fired as the least effective Canadian intern in Malawi ever! She was reassuring and most importantly, finally walked me through the steps of how this was actually going to work out. Good news, there is a process of sorts for this type of research audit. There are defined channels through which to access participants. Bad news, at every step, I am relying on someone else to complete their task before being able to move on to the next step, which means that I am at the mercy of other people’s schedules….patience is a virtue in Malawi. I am not very good at it.
Quiet: Back to the rain. I was sitting in the office. Hot as usual. When suddenly I heard pounding on the roof. The rain had begun. A few minutes later the power went out (surprise!). At that point, there was nothing to do but wait it out. The library at the front of the building was quiet as usual. I went and sat on the porch watching the rain. It was almost silent on the street (a very rare occurrence). It was nice and quiet.
Happiness: After the rain slowed I headed for home, hoping to make it in time for my Chichewa lesson. It had been a few days since I have walked through Kawale 2, the neighborhood where my office is. I started walking and was immediately faced with the mud and large puddles – to which my flip-flops were no match. The women standing outside the grain grinding house next to the office were having a great time watching me pick my way through the muck out to the road. Very funny. Every day there are situations where if one does not have a good sense of humour you are screwed! Sometimes there is no way to win as the newbie white girl hanging out in a traditional Malawian neighbourhood.
I hit the road and suddenly a woman was shouting and yelling at me from her house – I looked up just in time to avoid the fallen electricity cable – it was nice to have the warning J The walk was shaping up well, and then soared off the charts when half-way up the road a group of about ten kids suddenly swarmed me. All screaming and laughing. There were all a little damp from the rain, and were clearly having a great time playing outside. A few had very good English and we started chatting. Names exchanged, I asked how school was this morning, tried out a few Chichewa words. I told them I had to go wait for my bus (‘basi” in Chichewa) and the boldest held out his fist – to tap to mine. I of course obliged and then all of the kids had to get in on it. When that novelty wore off, the same boy asked me if he could give me a hug. It was the first time any child here has asked if they could hug me. It was wonderful. I knelt down and got a big squeeze from this boy, and then all of his friends starting giving me hugs, some two at a time. This went on for about five minutes, until my bus came. It was the best I have felt since coming here. I constantly feel so separate from the world that I am living in: due to social class, money, language, location, transport…all I want to do is connect with the people I see everyday. I am hoping that this a sign that things are turning. And the best part; none of the kids asked me for money even once.
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